They Said It

MONDAY, MAY 9, 2015

“I’m not for any deal around here if I’m not a part of it.” —Sen. Francis Thompson. 

“My campaign manager used medical mari juana for pain.” —Rep. Larry Bagley

"You can already buy a hemp shirt from Whole Foods and put it in a pipe and smoke it.”  —Rep. Nancy Landry, tongue in cheek

“If you’re not a political person then you need to get out of where you’re at because you won’t be there long.”  —Rep. Steve Pylant, to a Division of Administration staffer who said he wasn’t political

“No offense, but I don’t think mall cops are sufficient.”  —Robert Barham, director of state parks, on the need for “real police” at state museums like the Cabildo

“My family eats a lot of eggs.” —Gov. John Bel Edwards, telling reporters that his new chickens will be producing a dozen eggs a day by late summer

"The kids already know how to type."  —Sen. Beth Mizell, urging cursive requirements in schools 

"What is cursive?” —Sen. Norby Chabert

From Issue 1,068 of LaPolitics Weekly, published April 28, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MAY 2, 2015

“I was warned when I first got here that those fish glow in the dark.” —Rep. Robby Carter, on why he doesn’t fish in the Capitol lakes

“I'm a businessman and I'm not that bright.” —Rep. Lance Harris

“This is Louisiana. We let people do anything.” —Sen. Francis Thompson, comparing raw milk to medical mari juana

“While we are asleep at night those dogs are out there fighting crime.” —Rep. Blake Miguez, on a bill creating a specialty license plate for police dogs

“This is Representative Rob Shadoin trying to pass a bill. Take two.”—Shadoin, during a tough day on the floor

“Rep. Coussan, do you have a rough neck?”—Rep. Johnny Guinn 

“No sir.” —Coussan, in response

“Cuz you look like a roughneck.” —Guinn

“I forgot what I was going to say.”  —Rep. Steve Pylant, almost asking a question on the House floor

From Issue 1,067 of LaPolitics Weekly, published April 21, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, APRIL 25, 2015

“Well, there’s our social return on the CATS investment. Driving nearly-empty buses around minimizes injuries when they run into houses.” —Congressman Garret Graves, after a Capital Area Transit bus drove into a home today in Baton Rouge (the ad on the bus was for the Dudley DeBosier injury law firm)

“There was one guy who could do the loaves and fishes trick and it ain’t me.” —Gov. John Bel Edwards, explaining budget cuts to the Appropriations Committee

“The other one was built back when Moses let the birds out.” —Rep. Lance Harris, on the lack of new tech college buildings in Alexandria

“I don’t have a PhD but I know how to fry some chicken.” —Harris, on higher ed accomplishments

“So you put up a good government bill to be transparent? I can see right through that.” —Rep. Sam Jones, to Rep. Gary Carter

“All I ever heard from my friends from there was, ‘The West Bank is the best bank, bruh.’” —Rep. Jay Morris, to Carter, on Orleans-area geography 

“It is.” —Carter, in response

“Welcome to the Short Man Caucus. Hey, I’m over here. You probably can’t see me.” —Rep. Kirk Talbot, to Carter

“Representative Coozan…” —Morris, beginning to ask a question of Rep. Jean-Paul Coussan, on the House floor

“Coussan.” —Coussan, correcting his pronunciation

“Coozan.” —Morris

“It’s Coussan.” —Coussan

“What’s happening?” —Morris

From Issue 1,066 of LaPolitics Weekly, published April 14, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, APRIL 18, 2015

“When they were settling this country they said whisky was for drinking and water was for fighting over. I found when I drank whiskey I did fight. So I quit.” —Rep. Rob Shadoin, on a water management bill

“This country was founded by geniuses, but, by God, sometimes I think it’s being run by idiots.”  —Treasurer John Kennedy, speaking to the Grow Louisiana Coalition

“Every single one of them ought to hide their head in a bag.” —Kennedy, on members of Congress

“Either our timing is perfect or incredibly awkward.” — Marc Ehrhardt, executive director of Grow Louisiana Coalition, introducing the governor just moments after Kennedy criticized the governor in his speech

“I even hear Mr. (Robert) Barham is working for free. He’s trying to help us out a little bit.” —Rep. James Armes, on budget cuts to the Department of Culture Recreation and Culture 

“Not quite.”  —Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser, in response 

“We’re done with taking the fat out. We’re down to muscle and bone.” —Economic Development Secretary Don Pierson, on LED’s budget

“The biggest spender in the state of Louisiana is the state of Louisiana.” —Rep. Johnny Guinn

“You've been here, what, three years?” —Rep. Pat Smith, to Commissioner of Higher Ed Joseph Rallo

“Feels like it. But it's been a little more than a year.” —Rallo, in response

“Look, I want to get communion from my bishop. But I can’t. So I got to get communion from my neighbor.” —Sen. Fred Mills, trying to make a point about doctor referrals

From Issue 1,066 of LaPolitics Weekly, published April 12, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, APRIL 11, 2015

“They don't call them oyster beds for nothing.”  —Rep. Jerome Zeringue, explaining oyster reproduction on the House floor 

“You must eat a lot of oysters.” —Rep. Robert Johnson, to Rep. Tanner Magee, who has triplets

“We are all great admirers of your hair.” —Magee, to Rep. Pat Smith, regarding the mock Twitter account @PatSmithsHair

“It will not happen in this room.” —A pregnant Rep. Stephanie Hilferty, on the House floor, discussing her labor plans

“If you start dancing up there are we going to have to worry about shaken baby syndrome?” —Rep. Neil Abramson, to Hilferty on the mic

“I’m the first one from my family to be in here. But I did have a relative run against me.” —Rep. Robby Carter, on his return to the House

“Everyone from Greensburg has this accent.” —Carter

“It's truly an honor and privilege to be back here today. But I'm glad it is only for a day." —District attorney and former Senate president Joel Chaisson, on former legislator’s day

"I'm the one who left you with a $2 billion surplus."  —Former legislator and former Gov. Kathleen Blanco, addressing the Senate

"Y'all didn't treat him that good when he was here.” —Senate President John Alario, after introducing former Sen. Elbert Guillory, who was met with a thunderous ovation

"If they’re living, I served with them." —Alario, on former legislator’s day

“These pink vests… Are they going to be lacy? Are they going to have tassels? They may attract more bucks that way.” —Rep. Bernard LeBas, to Rep. Malinda White, on her bill to add blaze pink as an alternative to hunter orange

“That’s mostly in New Orleans on Bourbon Street where you see that.” —LeBas, on men wearing pink 

"I stopped at the Cougar Stop and I saw not older women.” —Rep. Rob Shadoin, referencing the truck stop in Creole, asking the mayor if it was in his village, in House Judiciary 

From Issue 1,065 of LaPolitics Weekly, published March 31, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, APRIL 4, 2015

“That person told me you had a tattoo of a butterfly on your back. Is that true?” —Rep. Jack Montoucet, to Rep. Jay Morris, referencing an imaginary roommate while Morris was presenting his bill to designate the passion butterfly as the official butterfly of Louisiana

“Some people call that a tramp stamp.” —Morris

“I’m just a poor country lawyer like Mr. Shadoin.” —Rep. Chad Brown, presenting his first bill

“Somebody was smoking marijuana.”  —Rep. Bernard LeBas, after Rep. Frank Hoffman couldn’t figure out how to turn on the microphone to testify on LeBas’ marij uana pharmacy bill

“It wasn’t me. Who are you talking about?”  —Hoffman, in response

"I don’t want to get lost in the weeds of this.”  —Rep. Tanner Magee, on the same bill

“We have now identified why your mic is broken.” —House Natural Resources Chairman Stuart Bishop, to Rep. Blake Miguez, following a lengthy question on feral hogs

“I’m assuming you don’t have a clothing line do you?” —Rep. Truck Gisclair, to Rep. Melinda B. White, whose bill would give hunters a new color option, “blaze pink,” to wear during open gun season, in addition to safety orange

“Can only girls wear pink?” —Rep. Jerome Zeringue

“I wore a pink shirt just for this.” —Bishop

"It's still fairly clean, but it did get a little dusty in the process.” Secretary of Revenue Kimberly Robinson on the "clean penny" sales tax

From Issue 1,064 of LaPolitics Weekly, published March 24, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MARCH 28, 2015

“We can’t find the rabbit and we cannot find the hat.”  —Gov. John Bel Edwards, on the lack of budget tricks left 

“We don't know who he would appoint. Judge Judy, Judge Wapner, a divorce attorney, bankruptcy attorney?” —Former Gov. Bobby Jindal, on Donald Trump and the U.S. Supreme Court, on FOX News with Bill O'Reilly

“If they’re meeting at 3:30 then we should really start at 3:00.”  —House Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger, announcing a Democratic Caucus meeting after the GOP announced theirs

“Y’all are so knowledgeable sometimes that my brain explodes.” —Rep. Rob Shadoin, to the House

"If they pass a tax on roaches, we would be willing to take it."  —Senate President John Alario, on the House, in The Times-Pic

“They’re trying to water down the bottle.” —Rep. Katrina Jackson, on proposed amendments to the booze bill

“This place will be blown up.” —Sen. Karen Carter Peterson, on what ended up being an error in the big sales tax bill on the final day of the session

  “This is the tomorrow bill coming up today.” —Rep. Kenny Cox on the alcohol tax bill, which was repeatedly delayed during the special session

“I’ll drive anything that’s a bargain.” —Public Service Commissioner Foster Campbell, on pickup trucks

From Issue 1,063 of LaPolitics Weekly, published March 17, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MARCH 21, 2015

“We can’t find the rabbit and we cannot find the hat.”  —Gov. John Bel Edwards, on the lack of budget tricks left 

“We don't know who he would appoint. Judge Judy, Judge Wapner, a divorce attorney, bankruptcy attorney?” —Former Gov. Bobby Jindal, on Donald Trump and the U.S. Supreme Court, on FOX News with Bill O'Reilly

“If they’re meeting at 3:30 then we should really start at 3:00.”  —House Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger, announcing a Democratic Caucus meeting after the GOP announced theirs

“Y’all are so knowledgeable sometimes that my brain explodes.” —Rep. Rob Shadoin, to the House

"If they pass a tax on roaches, we would be willing to take it."  —Senate President John Alario, on the House, in The Times-Pic

“They’re trying to water down the bottle.” —Rep. Katrina Jackson, on proposed amendments to the booze bill

“This place will be blown up.” —Sen. Karen Carter Peterson, on what ended up being an error in the big sales tax bill on the final day of the session

  “This is the tomorrow bill coming up today.” —Rep. Kenny Cox on the alcohol tax bill, which was repeatedly delayed during the special session

“I’ll drive anything that’s a bargain.” —Public Service Commissioner Foster Campbell, on pickup trucks

From Issue 1,062 of LaPolitics Weekly, published March 10, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MARCH 14, 2015

“Since I have heart trouble he will remain in that office close to me.” —Senate President John Alario, on Finance Chair Eric LaFleur performing CPR on a sergeant at arms

“They’ve probably never fixed squirrel at the Governor’s Mansion.” —Gov. John Bel Edwards, speaking at the CCA convention last weekend, the last weekend of the regular squirrel season 

“We need to treat them fair, even though sometimes they don’t treat us fair. I’m a grown woman and I said it.” —Sen. Yvonne Dorsey-Colomb, on exempting newspaper ads from the sales tax

“It hasn't gotten special enough for me to shave it yet.” —Sen. Dan Claitor, on why he hadn’t shaved his beard during the special session

“It’s like hearing Julie with a beard”  —Rep. Stephanie Hilferty, upon hearing testimony from Scott Drenkard, an economist with the Tax Foundation

“I'd get rid of any dog I had if he wouldn't bite you.” —Rep. Jim Morris to Rep. Stuart Bishop

“It’s like a dog chasing its tail and if we bite it we might not like what we catch.” —Rep. Morris, again, this time on ongoing questions over fiscal notes

“I'd kill a man to get a well that produces two barrels a day."  —Unknown industry testimony from this week’s House Natural Resources Committee meeting

“Unless Sen. LaFleur pops up like a ninja like he did last time we won’t be hearing SB 5.” —Revenue and Fiscal Affairs Chairman J.P. Morrell

“We look crazy.” —Sen. Karen Carter Peterson, describing the Legislature’s tax votes during the special session

From Issue 1,061 of LaPolitics Weekly, published March 3, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MARCH 7, 2015

“You’ve got three options when you come to Appropriations: you can get a haircut, get scalped or get your head cut off. I’m working hard just to make sure you get a bad haircut.” —Rep. Blake Miguez

“If we could sell red card for about 500 bucks each we would be out of this budget crisis.” —Rep. Kenny Havard

“The No Lobbyist Left Behind Act." —What Rep. Chris Broadwater is calling the bills to overhaul statutory dedications 

“Not much money in the bank accounts right now so I've got some extra time on my hands.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, prior to providing committee testimony

“I’m trying to do all I can to increase my score.” —Rep. Ted James, to LABI President Stephen Waguespack 

“It may be unpractical but I say go for it.” —Rep. Beryl Amedée, on contracts cutting bill

“Today, right in this moment, I want to invite those in this room who know the Lord to stand in the gap before God and confess the sin of government's bad stewardship to God and ask him for forgiveness.” —Amedée, giving the daily prayer in the House

“We are not really in a rush to deal with the Senate just yet.” —Appropriations Chairman Cameron Henry, during a recent committee meeting

“Cameron is not going to let that happen.” —Henry, in third person

“That’s not how Cameron operates." —Henry, again

"It is raining.” —Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger, on tapping the Rainy Day Fund

“My goal is to help the state by making it to the mall by 6 p.m.” —Rep. Katrina Jackson, before presenting her bill at an afternoon Ways and Means meeting

“I’m glad you cleared that up.” —Rep. Major Thibaut, to Rep. Julie Stokes, who attempted to explain double-weighted sales tax averages

“This isn’t one of those regular Ted questions. I really don’t know the answer to this one.” —Rep. Ted James

“We’re going to hold hands.” —GOP Rep. Jay Morris, presenting an identical bill besides Democratic Rep. Walt Leger

“We don’t want to kill the goose that lays the golden egg even if it’s not laying gold. It’s laying copper, and that’s going down.” —Morris

“The only people who still have landlines are old people.” —NFIB state director Dawn Starns, on the telephone tax bill

“I still have a landline. I guess I’m old.” —Ways and Means Chairman Neil Abramson

From Issue 1,060 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Feb. 26, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, FEB. 29, 2015

“Apparently he has stopped smoking, so we have had a dramatic drop in revenue.” —Revenue Secretary Kimberly Robinson, on former Rep. Harold Ritchie, in regard to last year’s cigarette tax

“Last time I saw him he was very angry.” —Rep. Chris Broadwater, on Ritchie quitting smoking

******

“The co-authors would be Broadwater-Shadoin, so it’ll be the BS bill.” —Broadwater, on proposed legislation to repeal the SAVE act

“Gov. Jindal put in a red card on the SAVE repeal, but also a green card. So, they offset and really didn't do anything.” —Broadwater

******

"Last night I looked at a couple of bills. I couldn't even tell what they do.” —State economist Greg Albrecht

“We’re trying to keep it on the down low.” —Finance Chairman Eric LaFleur, when Commissioner of Administration Jay Dardenne reminded lawmakers they approved a plan from former Gov. Bobby Jindal to not make a monthly Medicaid payment 

“I didn’t mean to light your match.” —Rep. John Schroder, to Dardenne

“My nephew told me if I want to cut the fat I need to stop eating.” —Schroder

“Welcome to the Real World.” —The title of Dardenne’s PowerPoint slide introducing the 2016-17 budget

“Every drop of beer counts.” —John Williams, executive director of the Beer Industry League of Louisiana, discussing alcohol taxes

“We do like our beer.” —Ways and Means Chairman Neil Abramson of New Orleans, listening to a review of regional tax revenue on beer

“Hell will freeze over before LSU doesn’t go in Tiger Stadium.” —Rep. Steve Pylant, on budget cuts

"Governor Norquist, I mean Jindal, vetoed it last year." —Rep. Steve Pugh, on his internet sales tax bill

“I’ve been here two days and I ain’t made a vote yet.” —Sen. Bodi White

******

“I’m a life-long teacher. I doubt there are many here who made a 28.”  —Rep. Larry Bagley, on ACT scores

“I’m here to represent the great many of Louisianians who made a 27 or below on the ACT.” —Dardenne, in response

******

“You know what the mood is like on social media? It’s not excited.” —Schroder, on the budget

“After the campaign I stopped reading social media.” —Dardenne

From Issue 1,059 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Feb. 19, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, FEB. 23, 2015

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” —Mandeville Mayoral Donald Villere, running for re-election, in The Times-Pic

“Unfortunately there may not be a budget." —Congressman John Fleming, on the chances of the federal budget proposal from the GOP leadership passing, in Bloomberg News 

“I didn’t really have the time for that.”  —Speaker Taylor Barras, on whether he misled the administration on committee assignments, in The Advocate

"I appealed to them this morning not to bring Washington to Baton Rouge.”  —Commissioner of Administration Jay Dardenne, after meeting privately with Republican lawmakers, in The Times-Pic

“Louisiana appears stuck in a perpetual ‘Groundhog Day’ recurring loop of budget challenges that seems to occur whether or not the economy is weak or strong.” —LABI president Stephen Waguespack

From Issue 1,058 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Feb. 4, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, FEB. 15, 2015

"In the meantime, I trust that the voters will not elect convicted felons." —Attorney General Jeff Landry, discussing the possibility of a legislative solution to the Louisiana Supreme Court's decision to overturn the state ban on felons running for office, in The Advocate 

"Russell Long got mad at the Omni Shoreham because they didn't give him a good room." — Former U.S. Sen. John Breaux, describing how Washington Mardi Gras moved to the Hilton in the 1970s, in the Times-Pic

“This is the funnest thing I’ve had to do as governor. It’s been a lot of work up till now, but I’m going to take a few minutes and have some fun.” — Gov. John Bel Edwards, on Washington Mardi Gras, to WRKF

"People kept coming down to the lobby to ask us to play more."  — Southern band director Nathan Haymer, describing how the band practiced in the lobby of the Hilton before their Washington Mardi Gras performance, in The Times-Pic

From Issue 1,057 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Jan. 28, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, FEB. 1, 2015

"You might want to reach for the aspirin." — Treasurer John Kennedy, explaining the state budget

"Just turning down the thermostat isn't going to get us there." —Rep. Greg Miller, on balancing the budget

"And to my surprise, it came out the next morning that I was the chairman for Donald Trump." — Former New Orleans city councilman Jay Batt, who was mistakenly announced as Donald Trump's Louisiana campaign chairman after a conversation with the presidential candidate's campaign chairman, in The Times-Picayune

“I don’t want to get into a pissing contest. All I want him to do is tell the whole story.” —Baton Rouge Mayor Kip Holden, on Gov. Edwards' assertion that he explained the city's I-10 traffic issues to President Barack Obama, in The Baton Rouge Business Report

From Issue 1,056 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Jan. 21, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JAN. 25, 2015

"My qualifications for president of the United States are rather narrow. Is he or she Godly? Does he or she love us? Can he or she do the job? And, finally, would they kill a duck and put it in a pot and make them a good duck gumbo?" —Duck Dynasty" patriarch Phil Robertson, in a video announcing his endorsement of Ted Cruz

“No matter how hard you work at it, after a time there’s an isolation." —Former Gov. Kathleen Blanco, on social life as governor, in The Advocate

"The benefit of not knowing I would be speaker until 48 hours ago is I have not made any promises to anyone." —House Speaker Taylor Barras, in The Times Picayune

"It shows you why elections matter." —President Barack Obama, speaking in Baton Rouge, on Louisiana's coming Medicaid expansion

"He's coming in a little like I came in — gotta clean up some stuff." —Obama, on Gov. John Bel Edwards

"I love Louisiana. I love Baton Rouge, but this is the first time to visit as President. I've been trying to pack all of my fun trips into my last year. And although I missed the Tigers beating Ole Miss last night, maybe I'll come back for football season." —Obama

“Even pictures?”  —An unidentified member of the House of Representatives, shouting from the floor during a required ethics training that reminded members that text messages are subject to public records requests

From Issue 1,055 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Jan. 14, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JAN. 17, 2015

“When I was sitting in prison I never thought I would be attending an inauguration for another Edwards.” —Former Gov. Edwin Edwards, on Baton Rouge’s TALK 107.3 FM with Leo Honeycutt 

“Resign.” —EWE, offering his best budget deficit advice for Gov.-elect John Bel Edwards

"Guns only have two enemies, rust and politicians."  —Former state Sen. Troy Hebert, a potential U.S. Senate candidate, on the president’s recent gun control executive order

“Every day during my first year in office, I would come home and say, ‘This is the best job I’ll ever have.'" —Gov. Bobby Jindal, reflecting on his tenure as governor, in The Advocate

“He abandoned Louisiana, and the people know it." —Former Gov. Buddy Roemer, on Jindal, in The Advocate

From Issue 1,054 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Jan. 7, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JAN. 11, 2015

"I think it's going to be a Seinfeld show — a show about nothing." —Political consultant George Kennedy, on the 2016 Senate race, on The Jim Engster Show

"If he wants to blame me for his resignation, I will accept it and will wear it as a badge of honor.” —Rep. Kenny Havard, on accusations from outgoing Angola Warden Burl Cain that the lawmaker pushed him out of his post for political reasons, on WAFB

“I will never regret the things we tried to do. I’ll always look back and wish we could do more.” —Gov. Bobby Jindal, in The Advocate

"We always want to cut more. I think it is better to reduce the size of government." —Jindal, on his preferred method for fixing budget shortfalls, in The Times-Picayune

“He has to keep people from panicking.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, on his advice to Gov-elect John Bel Edwards on how to deal with low oil prices.

“I will make Louisiana rich with opportunities.”  —Edwards, at the recent Southern University commencement ceremony, in The Advocate

From Issue 1,053 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Dec. 17, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JAN. 4, 2015

"When you make monumental changes it leaves a lot of battle scars." —Gov. Bobby Jindal, reflecting on his tenure as governor, in The Monroe News-Star

"I keep telling the builder his days are running out." —Jindal, on the construction of his new Baton Rouge home

"I wasn't looking for something where people were going to thank me." —Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, on taking the commissioner of administration post over an appointment as the secretary of LED, in The Times-Pic

"In the last election I obviously didn't tell enough people the truth because I didn't do so well." —Jefferson Parish Councilman Elton Lagasse, in the Times-Pic

“He’s not an all-bad person. But he’s done some questionable things too." —Rep. Kenny Havard, on exiting Angola Warden Burl Cain, in The Advocate

"He just happens to be the governor when members will take the first step toward that independence." —Rep. Cameron Henry, noting John Bel Edwards' previous efforts supporting more legislative independence from the executive branch, in The Associated Press

From Issue 1,052 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Dec. 10, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, DEC 14, 2015

"What am I? Chopped liver?" —U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy, responding to a question from a Times-Pic reporter on who will emerge as the new leader of the Louisiana Republican Party

“We had to thread a thousand needles.” —Rep. Sam Jones, describing how the John Bel Edwards campaign won the gubernatorial runoff, in The Advocate

 "If anybody is looking for a weight loss diet, run for Louisiana governor.” —Jones, on The Jim Engster Show

 "He kind of kills everyone with kindness. He's very smooth." —JBE spokeswoman Mary-Patricia Wray, describing Sen. Ben Nevers, on the Jim Engster Show

“Decisions will be coming at him a mile a minute." —Andy Kopplin, former chief of staff to Gov. Kathleen Blanco, on what Edwards will face during the transition process, in The Advocate

“Going from the campaign to the governor-elect transition is like going from drinking out of a garden hose to drinking from a fire hydrant." — Rolfe McCollister Jr., who chaired Gov. Bobby Jindal's transition team in 2007, in The Advocate

"David and I have never had cross words, but I've observed his behavior over the years." — Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, explaining why he declined to endorse Vitter in the runoff, on The Clay Young Show

From Issue 1,051 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Dec. 3, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, DEC 7, 2015

“If I were the new governor, I’d start stocking up on Scotch or another adult beverage.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, on the budget drama to come, in The Advocate

"Jeff Landry hides from the truth like Dracula hides from the sunshine.”  —Attorney General Buddy Caldwell, on his opposition, in The Monroe News-Star

"The definition of corruption doesn't necessarily mean it's criminal, but just because it's legally correct doesn't make it ethically correct." —Landry, on Caldwell

"This must be terrible for Jindal's base, or whatever it is you call 0.3 percent.” —Late Show host Stephen Colbert, on Gov. Bobby Jindal’s exit from the presidential race

“Does this mean you're not going to have a job anymore?” —Jindal, recalling what his son asked him after the governor dropped out of the presidential race, in The Times Picayune

"Well, he was, you know, a little nasty with me, but I think ultimately was very nice and he tried. Everyone's nasty to me because they want to get votes." —Donald Trump on Jindal, on CNN

"Whoever wins, they have some image repair to do for themselves first.” — Baton Rouge Mayor Kip Holden, on the governor’s race, on The Jim Engster Show

From Issue 1,050 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Nov. 19, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, NOV 30, 2015

“A pot­ted plant run­ning as a Re­pub­lic­an would prob­ably win a gubernat­ori­al run­off in Louisi­ana, but Vit­ter might not." — Charlie Cook, in National Journal

“This campaign is not about where David and John Bel went to college.” — Treasurer John Kennedy  

"I like that; those are good odds.” — Senate President John Alario, on the lack of public opposition for the Senate presidency, in The Monroe News-Star

“You need to grow a better beard.” — Duck Dynasty star Willie Robertson, to David Vitter, in a campaign commercial

******From this week’s gubernatorial debates:

“I felt good about the endorsement from Jay Dardenne until I found out it was good news for David Vitter.” — John Bel Edwards, on Vitter’s interpretation of the endorsement working in his favor

"Sen. Vitter, you've been lying sideways in the public trough since 1992. You make more per month than I make in a year.” — Edwards

"If you believe Obama is the biggest threat to Louisiana you should stay in Washington to oppose him." — Edwards

"You're not living by the (West Point) honor code. You’re living by the lawyer's code." — Vitter

From Issue 1,049 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Nov. 12, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, NOV 16, 2015

"In Baton Rouge, a secret means you only tell five people." —Bob Mann, repeating an old political saying about leaks

"Anyone who really thinks that this race will be decided by 20 points is smoking medicinal marijuana.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, on the governor’s race, on The Moon Griffon Show

“The wounds are pretty deep.”  —Sen. Fred Mills, describing Angelle supporters' post-primary feelings about Vitter, in The Advocate

"You may need to hold your nose to vote for a Republican, but you've got to do it.” —Rep. Mike Johnson, on the Jim Engster Show

“The Democratic Party gaining control of Louisiana scares me.” —Former Gov. Mike Foster, in The Advocate

"He's not going to give out his endorsement just on good looks. He's going to want something in return."  —UNO political scientist Ed Chervenak, on New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu's endorsement of John Bel Edwards, in The Times-Pic

From Issue 1,048 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Nov. 5, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, NOV 9, 2015

“I’m as hard to intimidate as a rhinoceros on the charge.” —Attorney John Cummings, who was said to be the target of a private investigator working for the gubernatorial campaign of U.S. Sen. David Vitter, in The Advocate. 

“The stupid son of a b***h was supposed to find Santa Claus in the cafe; that’s the guy with the white beard. But you can tell David Vitter that he doesn’t get anything for Christmas. He’s been naughty.” —Cummings, upon hearing the PI was tracking a man in a white beard

"This is Godzilla. To slay Godzilla, you got to go directly at him. You can't slay a dragon by chopping at his feet." —Bradley Beychok, who managed Charlie Melancon’s Senate campaign, on Vitter, in Politico

“Night and day.”  —LABI’s Brigitte Nieland, on the education stances of Edwards and Vitter, in The Advocate 

“If he wants to make it about my association with the president, I will engage him with his associations. I suspect the people of Louisiana will be more concerned and distressed about his associations than mine." —Edwards, on election night

"If a man is going to align himself with Barack Obama, then that disqualifies him.” —Baton Rouge Pastor David M. Diamond, on Edwards, on The Jim Engster Show

From Issue 1,047 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Oct. 29, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, NOV 2, 2015

“Food, culture and our greatest natural asset, Leonard Fournette.” —Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, explaining what makes Louisiana great, during Wednesday night’s gubernatorial debate at LSU

“Real Men wear pink and it looks damn good on me.” —Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, on his tie, during the LSU debate

 “The Republicans are in a circular firing squad launching one attack after another.” —New Orleans pollster and political scientist Ed Chervenak, on the governor’s race, in Gambit

“I was a big fake.” —Consulting icon Gus Weill, explaining that he always loved writing more than politics, which he doesn’t like all that much anyway, in The Advocate

“It’s almost laboratory conditions in Louisiana for Democrats. You have a horrifically unpopular incumbent governor and the likely Republican survivor is one of the most flawed candidates in American politics.” —Pundit James Carville, in Salon

“I feel sorry for governors that I see go in with people that are green, don't understand the Legislature, don't understand the way government works.” —Former Gov. Mike Foster, to WWNO

From Issue 1,046 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Oct. 22, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, OCT. 26, 2015

From a recent gubernatorial debate hosted by LPB and CABL:

“Have y’all heard of Boudreaux and Thibodeaux?” —Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, a few minutes before air over the mic

“The governor made a long distance phone call from Iowa a few weeks ago.” —Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, explaining how coastal restoration money got shifted around recently

“Get ready because I’m talking fast.” —Dardenne, after being allowed one minute to discuss attacks against him

“Maybe no means no and every other answer means yes.” —Angelle, on how absent U.S. Sen. David Vitter has addressed the question of whether he broke the law

“I can chew gum and walk at the same time.” —Rep. John Bel Edwards

“I can chew gum and walk a little bit faster than John Bel.” —Angelle

“I can chew gum and run at the the same time.” —Dardenne

“The most important depends on where you are in the state when you get asked that question.” —Edwards, after being asked to list his most important construction project

“I’m not trying to dodge the question.” —Edwards

“So please don’t.” —Debate panelist and LPB anchor Shauna Sanford

From Issue 1,045 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Oct. 15, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, OCT. 19, 2015

“The governors of Louisiana have been a failure, me included.” —Former Gov. Buddy Roemer, in The Advocate

“(He) is as dumb as the bottom of my shoe." —Attorney general candidate Ike Jackson, on incumbent Attorney General Buddy Caldwell, in The Monroe News-Star

“None of them have the qualifications for me to hire them as an assistant, much less replace me as attorney general." —Caldwell, on his opposition, in The News-Star

******

From last week’s WDSU gubernatorial debate in New Orleans:

“If you teach your boy how to hunt you won’t have to hunt for your boy.” —Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle

“While I did vote for the president, I have never voted for David Vitter.” —Rep. John Bel Edwards

“He’s not here. He’s not there. He just doesn’t care.”  —Angelle, on U.S. Sen. David Vitter’s congressional votes and state debate appearances

“Let me take this opportunity to call out Senator Pinocchio.”  —Angelle, on Vitter

“Don’t throw me in the same briar patch as those two guys.” —Dardenne, to Edwards, after being compared to Angelle and Vitter

From this week’s WVLA gubernatorial debate in Baton Rouge:

“An honest politician is not a contradiction in terms in Louisiana politics.” —Dardenne

“We can’t blame what happened to us on Texas, Alabama or even Nick Saban.” —Angelle

“We’ve developed a great relationship over the past year, mainly because we show up.” —Edwards, on Angelle and Dardenne

From Issue 1,044 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Oct. 8, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, OCT. 12, 2015

“If the governor says it’s going to snow tomorrow, everybody in the Legislature puts on a snow suit.” —Lobbyist Bubba Henry, on the chances of the House exercising independence for speaker, in The Advocate

 “But until we have the coronation of the imperial governor, no one can say they have a lock on anything.” —Rep. Sam Jones, on the House selecting a speaker, in The Advocate

"What did you do wrong?" —Congressman Garret Graves, recalling his mother’s response when he told her he would be seeing the Pope, in The Times Pic

"Bobby Jindal in Louisiana is political dead weight right now.” —Pollster Ron Faucheux, on WWL-TV 

“So much for Iowa and New Hampshire. They don’t matter now apparently.” —Jindal strategist Curt Anderson, responding to CNBC’s decision to rely on national polls for debate participation, in The Washington Examiner 

"I do love me some Trump. I gotta admit.” —“Duck Dynasty" star and Jindal supporter Willie Robertson, in The Washington Post

"We're spending more money than we're taking in. That's the bottom line.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, on the state budget, on WBRZ-TV

"I invited all of you here because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you’ve got to be nice to state legislators. You never know when one of them might end up being president.” —President Barack Obama, after meeting with a group of lawmakers, including Sen. Karen Carter Peterson, in USA Today 

From Issue 1,043 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Oct. 1, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, OCT. 5, 2015

“To say I was an outsider is putting it mildly. I certainly rock the boat when it needs to be rocked.” —U.S. Sen. David Vitter, on his time in the state House, in The Monroe News-Star

"I told him, 'If you find people (who) like you, then tell them we're cousins…'' —Former Gov. Edwin Edwards, describing the advice he gave state Rep. John Bel Edwards, in The Times-Picayune

“When they come clean with what they want to do, some people’s bread will be buttered and some will be burned.” —Former state Senate President Randy Ewing, on the eventual budget strategy for the next governor, in The Advocate

"I married up.” —Gov. Bobby Jindal, when a caller said Supriya would make a “gorgeous first lady,” during a tele-town hall meeting this week

“The office of governor is another kettle of crawfish.” —Larry Sabato, executive director of the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia, on Sen. David Vitter addressing his “serious sin” in the governor’s race versus a Senate race, in The Times-Pic 

From Issue 1,042 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Sept. 24, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, SEPT. 28, 2015

“Was it at the keg or in the classroom?” —Gubernatorial candidate Scott Angelle, after being told by Secretary of State Tom Schedler that he met his wife in college in Lafayette  

“It’s kind of like the draft.” —Micah Cormier, Angelle campaign staffer, during this week’s qualifying period

“Who signs you up when you qualify?” —State Rep. John Bel Edwards to Schedler, during qualifying 

"He doesn't strike me as the kind of man who could really support someone outside of himself.” —Consulting icon Gus Weill, on Donald Trump, on The Jim Engster Show

“I’m ready to stay under house arrest for the next two years of my term.” —Mayor Mitch Landrieu, regarding a court order to pay firefighters $75 million, on WDSU

“My wife is really happy about it. She called me and said she's been trying to get me to stay home on weekends for the last 23 years. She already sent me a honey-do list.” —Landrieu, on the possible house arrest, in The Times-Pic

"The fiscal note process in Louisiana is like the 10-day weather forecast. It's always wrong.” —Angelle, during last week’s forum organized by south Louisiana chamber groups

“David, it is especially nice to see you." —Edwards, to Vitter, during last week’s forum, suggesting the senator has been MIA

“Just turn on the TV, John Bel. You'll see me all the time.” —Vitter

“We want to put all of that on red.” —Vitter, paying his qualifying fee on Tuesday in cash

“We’re very excited that Wendy signed up for governor.” —Vitter, to reporters afterwards

“None.”—Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, answering a reporter who asked how much experience he had gained while filling in for Gov. Bobby Jindal when he’s outside of the state, during qualifying

From Issue 1,041 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Sept. 10, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, SEPT. 21, 2015

“We allowed each one half an hour. After we get started talking, it ends up being an hour.” —The Louisiana Equine Council President Daniel Lyons, on the group's recent chats with three of the four lieutenant governor candidates, in The Opelousas Daily World.

"You would think that at some point people who are supposed to know better would learn their lesson. But they never do, and so therefore, I have to keep coming out of retirement to point this kind of stuff out." —James Carville, defending the Clintons from recent Republican attacks, on MSNBC

“I think that the president got conned by the Iranians." —Bobby Jindal, on the Obama Administration's nuclear deal with Iran, in Huffington Post

******

Three of the four gubernatorial candidates took part in a student-led debate Wednesday evening in Hammond:

“If this keeps up I may be term limited before inauguration day.” —Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, on filling in as acting governor

"Undecided. We don't need another governor talking about presidential politics." —Pubic Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, on who he supports for president

The candidates were asked who they would choose to play them in a movie…

Angelle: “Tom Hanks.”

Edwards: “Tom Cruise.”

Dardenne: “Dustin Hoffman.”

Vitter: Not in attendance (We select Bill Murray on his behalf)

From Issue 1,040 of LaPolitics Weekly, published Sept. 3, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, SEPT. 7, 2015

“When it gets tough, that’s the caucus we call on." —Senate President John Alario, on the non-existent Italian Caucus, at LegisGator

“I wasn’t prepared for this, just like we weren’t prepared for the session. So I’ll wing it, just like we did during the session.” —Rep. Joel Robideaux, accepting the legislator of the year award, at LegisGator

 “Vitter comes across very Obama-like, cool and aloof and cerebral.”  — LSU poli-sci prof Robert E. Hogan, in The Advocate

“I can talk about it, but I can’t explain it. They say ‘You guys sure do things differently down there.’” — LSU president F. King Alexander, on other university heads from outside Louisiana calling him with questions about the SAVE Act, in The Advocate 

“I’m better looking than those guys. And I take cash.” — Gubernatorial candidate Scott Angelle, taking orders for poboys at Old Tyme Grocery, in The Lafayette Advertiser

“We cannot effectively make progress waging a war of robbing Peter to pay Paul. And by the way Peter is pretty broke right now as well.” —Angelle, on coastal restoration funding, at last week’s Coalition to Restore Coastal Louisiana forum

“If you’re not getting the money, you ain’t getting the honey.” —LFT President Steve Monaghan, on fundraising, at the Leaders With Vision super PAC forum

“He also washes dishes. But not the pots.” —Cathy Dardenne, on her husband and gubernatorial candidate, at a Monroe campaign event this week

From Issue 1,039 of LaPolitics Weekly, published August 27, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 2015

"Like with a cloth or something?" —Hillary Clinton, after a reporter asked if her email server had been wiped, in The Hill

“Kip, I am a WARRIOR!! I have experience as a kickboxer, dancer, mountain climber, fencer… My playtime is spent pitting myself against challenges!” —Sen. Elbert Guillory, in a written statement to Baton Rouge Mayor Kip Holden, who criticized Guillory’s use of an ad with racist remarks, in The Times-Pic

“He doesn't care what comes out of his mouth.” —Holden on Guillory, in The T-P

“I am so happy that he is at 1 percent, and I hope he stays there.” —Former U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu on Gov. Bobby Jindal, in Politico

“I am completely over living my life in 15-minute scheduled segments.” —Landrieu, in The Town Talk

“We're proud of our crazy. In other areas, in the north, they kind of hide it, they put everything in a closet. We invite it out and buy it a cocktail.” —Actor Bryan Batt, on Louisiana politics, in The T-P

*********

TREASURER JOHN KENNEDY SPOTLIGHT FROM THE FOUR DAYS:

“We need a cross between Socrates and Dirty Harry.”  —Kennedy, regarding the next governor, on KTBS

“Frankly the state budget looks like something my beagle dragged under the back porch.” —Kennedy, on fiscal management, on KTBS 

“The governor's done many good things. But finances is not one of them.” —Kennedy, on Gov. Bobby Jindal, at the Baton Rouge Press Club

"We all know that the governor used the state as a stepping stone, and boy did we get stepped on.” —Kennedy, on Jindal, at the Baton Rouge Press Club

From Issue 1,038 of LaPolitics Weekly, published August 20, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, AUGUST 24, 2015

"Here I sat in a tank on the border between East Germany and West Germany, looking five hundred meters across the border at Ivan (a nickname for Russian soldiers) in a tank pointed my way, and I knew one thing for certain: I did not want to be a private in the United States Army.” —Lane Grigsby, in The Alexandria Town Talk

“Nachos and chocolate chip cookies.” —Gov. Bobby Jindal, on what his first White House meal would be, in Huffington Post

“I'm not a politician.”  —Hillar Moore, refuting rumors that he is running for mayor of Baton Rouge, on The Jim Engster Show

“It can’t hurt. He’s got better name recognition than me.” —Gubernatorial candidate Scott Angelle, on a hypothetical endorsement from “Duck Dynasty” star Willie Robertson, in The Monroe News-Star

“I loved high school, basketball and cheerleaders.”  —Treasurer John Kennedy, reminiscing about childhood, in his new re-election TV commercial

From Issue 1,037 of LaPolitics Weekly, published August 13, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, AUGUST 17, 2015

“I don’t know why but women are much smarter than men.” —State Rep. John Bel Edwards, to a gathering of the Independent Women’s Organization in New Orleans  

“I prefer to look at it as an election and not an auction.” —Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, on fundraising and running for governor, in The Monroe News Star

“I started thinking about my 3-year-old starting T-ball next spring and thought, ‘Am I going to be at the Capitol or at the T-ball field?’ I think the right choice is the T-ball field.” —Sen. Rick Gallot, on his decision to not seek re-election, in The Alexandria Town Talk

"More like Deputy Barney Fife has not arrested me yet.” —Joseph Curtatone, mayor of Somerville, Mass., on "Sheriff Bobby Jindal" and his plan to arrest mayors of so-called sanctuary cities, on Boston Herald radio

“I love listening to Jindal, because I swear if you didn't know who he is, you swear it was Gomer Pyle” —Curtatone

“You won't have to make an appointment to see me in South Carolina, Iowa or New Hampshire.” —Edwards, a gubernatorial candidate, on KTBS-TV

“It has never been decided by a summer beauty pageant." —Brad Todd of the pro-Jindal Believe Again super PAC, on the presidential race and cable news debates, in The Times-Pic

From Issue 1,036 of LaPolitics Weekly, published August 6, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, AUGUST 10, 2015

“Our water is so bad I bathe in the lake.” —Sen. Neil Riser, in The Monroe News-Star

“The state party has never endorsed me before, so it might have been bad luck to get it this time.” —Attorney General Buddy Caldwell on the GOP endorsement of former Congressman Jeff Landry, in The Times-Pic

“Before he could walk or talk, every time the Morris Bart commercial would come on, he was just fixated. You couldn’t talk to him. You couldn’t do anything with him. He would just sit and stare at the TV.”  —L’erin Dobra, on why she chose a Morris Bart-themed birthday party for her two-year-old, in The Advocate

“Some people told me that Louisiana was a conservative state. Guess not." —Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders before a crowd of about 4,500 people in Kenner, in Bloomberg

From Issue 1,035 of LaPolitics Weekly, published July, 30 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, AUGUST 3, 2015

"I believe David Vitter is a broken man. The greatest leader you can have is a broken man." —Baton Rouge Pastor David M. Diamond on The Jim Engster Show

“A large portion is supposed to be set aside for a rainy day – and you know how rainy it can be in Louisiana.” —Treasurer John Kennedy on the BP oil spill settlement, in The Times-Pic

“I couldn’t get him on the phone now if I needed to.” —Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, on Gov. Bobby Jindal, in The Advocate

“There are some candidates running for governor who like to whine.” —Mike Reed, a spokesman for the governor, responding to Dardenne’s comment

From Issue 1,034 of LaPolitics Weekly, published July, 23 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JULY 20, 2015

“Dad’s very proud that y’all are tattoo-free.” —Public Service Commissioner and gubernatorial candidate Scott Angelle, speaking to his daughters at a women’s event for his campaign

“Other than Hillary Clinton, I think we’re in the clear.” —Kevin Roig, spokesperson for the very conservative Congressman Garret Graves, offering a just-joking reply (not true) when asked if his boss had made any endorsements this election cycle 

“It takes too long for him to get here from Iowa.” —State Sen. Francis Thompson, asked if the governor would be attending the Tensas Basin Levee District's annual pea cookin’, in The Monroe News-Star

“Do we need more data? Sure. Is it obvious where this is going? Yes.” —Larry Sabato, director of the Institute of Politics at the University of Virginia, on the governor’s presidential poll numbers, in The Advocate

“Unless you are an Alabama graduate, you can see the direction is up.”  —Treasurer John Kennedy, explaining incoming revenues directly following Louisiana’s worst hurricanes in recent memory, in The Advocate

From Issue 1,033 of LaPolitics Weekly, published July, 15 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JULY 13, 2015

"What's orange and sleeps six? A DOTD truck. Think about that when you're waiting on the bridge." —Treasurer John Kennedy, to the Baton Rouge Rotary Club, in the Times-Picayune

“I don't mind Bobby running for president, just not as governor.” —Former Gov. Buddy Roemer, in The Advocate

“He showed up to meetings with bright green pants and a pink polo shirt with an upturned collar. He was trying to be Mr. Preppy.” —Dione Hasse, whom Gov. Bobby Jindal tutored while in high school, in The Advocate

“It's clever, and it's self-serving.”Craig Holman, government affairs lobbyist at Public Citizen, on David Vitter's frequent Senate committee meetings held in Louisiana over the past year, in Bloomberg

"I knew the minute that it was said that there was trouble." —Lizzy Olsen, Miss District of Columbia 2015, on Donald Trump's comments about Mexican immigrants that prompted two television networks to pull out of the Baton Rouge pageant, in Vanity Fair

From Issue 1,032 of LaPolitics Weekly, published July, 9 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JULY 6, 2015

“If you don’t drink that Kool-Aid, sometimes you don’t get things in your district.” —Sen. Jody Amedee, on the capital outlay process, in the Associated Press

“You can’t take politics out of politics.”  —Sen. Greg Tarver, on capital outlay, in the AP

“The SAVE bill should have been called the ‘Save Bobby Jindal bill.’”  —Rep. Stephen Ortego, in The Advocate 

“I’m not going to send federal troops into Louisiana to arrest people for whatever you do down there, smoking crayfish. Want me to ban that and send federal troops down there? I bet maybe smoking crayfish ain’t good for you. What if it’s fried? Might clog your arteries, huh?” — Colorado Congressman Jared Polis to Congressman John Fleming, during a legalization debate that took a strange turn, on C-SPAN

"We passed taxes and we passed them in a big way." —Sen. Eric LaFleur, in The Lafayette Advertiser

"If I do decide to run, obviously I'll spend a lot of time in Iowa.” —Gov. Bobby Jindal, in The Des Moines Register

******

The Associated Press gave wonderful coverage to the death this week of Blaze Starr, famed Bourbon Street dancer and one-time Earl K. Long squeeze:

"They had the romance and history, and she added a good dollop of glamour. She was a wonderful dancer and much loved.” —Political consultant Gus Weill

"Of course, Ms. Blanche (Long's wife) didn't like her, but that was beside the point. It didn't mar his legacy; it demonstrated that old men have a flair for nice women.” —Former Long aide Ted Jones

"Personal misbehaviors on the part of male politicians were not an unusual thing.” —Alecia P. Long, a history professor at Louisiana State University

From Issue 1,031 of LaPolitics Weekly, published June, 18 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JUNE 22, 2015

“I cannot accept cash in public." —Senate President John Alario, opening a gift from senators on the floor

 “(I'm) trying to keep the defecation from hitting the ventilation." —Rep. Rob Shadoin, during a debate over charter school funding

 “I don’t count his guns and he doesn’t count my shoes.” — Sen. Sherri Smith Buffington, on married life  

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was six years old when you came to this Capitol.” —Buffington to Alario

“I went and checked. There are no defibrillators in the hall but there are some in the nurse’s room.” —Sen. Dan Claitor, in the session’s final days

“Keep one for me.” —Alario

“I don’t want to get everyone excited about Grover, Rover, whatever they call him. Grover Norquist?” —Sen. Jody Amedee, deciding against an amendment to the inventory tax credit bill

“He suggested I might want to be the chair of the agriculture committee. I can tell you he didn’t get my vote for Senate president.”  —Senate Pro Tem Sharon Weston Broome, reflecting on a conversation with a candidate for president after first being elected to the upper chamber

“You are useless during session… I am happy to fill up my car myself… I’m sick of reading about you in the paper… I’m not voting for you.” —Rep. Lance Harris, reading text messages from his wife on the House floor

From Issue 1,030 of LaPolitics Weekly, published June 12, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JUNE 15, 2015

“Mr. Speaker, it is 1:35 p.m. and I am hungry. I am ready to eat.” —Rep. Barbara Norton’s unsuccessful attempt to adjourn

“This is the House of Representatives. We can do everything around here.” —Rep. Kenny Cox, explaining why his amendment was germane

“It turns capital letters into lower case letters.” Rep. Sam Jones, trying to get quick approval for a set of technical amendments

“I guess the word ‘difficult’ comes to mind.” —Finance Chairman Jack Donahue, when asked to describe the current session

“On June 11.” —Donahue, on how the session will end

“I understand all the sword-rattling and things like that. But I’m asking senators not to throw any more stones.”  —Senate President John Alario, on the session’s final week

“We’re in the silly season now.” —Rep. Sam Jones, with seven days left in the session

******

“You probably know the governor and I don’t see eye to eye on some things.” —Rep. Cameron Henry

“That’s why I like you so much.” —Rep. Ted James, D-Baton Rouge

From Issue 1,029 of LaPolitics Weekly, published June, 4 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JUNE 8, 2015

“I was stupid enough to run for representative and to think I can come down here and make a damn difference.” —Rep. Steve Plyant, a former sheriff, saying he looks forward to returning to his old office one day

“I haven’t learned much down here but I’ve learned to count.” —Appropriations Chair Jim Fannin, on a budget amendment with 58 co-authors

“I always thought New Orleans was already its own state.” —Rep. Ted James, on an amendment that would allow New Orleans to create its own statehood

“He voted against the Internet gaming bill so he’s not going to give any odds.”  —Rep. Jeff Arnold, as Rep. Bubba Chaney was being questioned about the possibility of a medical school getting money

******

“Does the governor have secret service coverage?”Rep. Sam Jones

“He hasn’t ranked that high in the polls yet. He’s still at 1 percent.”Rep. Katrina Jackson 

From Issue 1,028 of LaPolitics Weekly, published May 28, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, JULY 1, 2015

“I don’t practice before the court and this point moving forward shouldn’t.” —LABI President Stephen Waguespack, on his organization’s bill to increase transparency in the bench, following testimony by the chief justice 

“The 300th anniversary of New Orleans. I remember the day.” —Senate President John Alario, on a bill to create a speciality license plate for the 300th anniversary of the city of New Orleans

“What’s wrong with the John Bridge?” —Alario, on a bill to change the name of John Bridge in Terrebonne Parish.

"The Legislature is so over him. He makes no difference to us at this point."  —Rep. John Bel Edwards, on the governor, in The Times-Pic

"I am not even going to comment on that.” —Sen. Robert Adley, on the governor’s exploratory committee announcement, in The T-P

From Issue 1,027 of LaPolitics Weekly, published May, 21 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MAY 25, 2015

“We’re not all of sudden going to start giving out rebates to every Hooters on this side of the interstate are we? —Rep. Chris Broadwater, questioning a bill offering incentives to themed restaurants with an investment of $5 million or more

“It would have to be large Hooters.” —The bill’s author, Rep. Mike Johnson

“I did not mean to lead you down this path, but you went there willingly… You may have just gotten a lot of votes on this bill.” —Broadwater

“You baited me… Can we strike that from the record?” —Johnson 

“We should probably just leave it at that, right?” —Broadwater

“Let’s leave it at that.” —Johnson

******

“I don’t think there’s any money left.” —Rep. Helena Moreno, when she finally got a turn to offer a budget amendment

“I can answer that. There wasn’t any when we started.” —Appropriations Chairman Jim Fannin

******

“I want to ask Rep. Robideaux a question.” —Rep. Sam Jones

“He’s on personal privilege.”   —Speaker Chuck Kleckley

“It’s a personal question.” —Jones

******

“I hate to be the fiscal conservative in the room, but someone has to do it.” —Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger

“By this point these boll weevils must be a secret mutant strand of bug that will never die.” —Sen. J.P. Morrell, on the never-ending funding requests for the destructive beetle 

"You could tweak the bill just don't twerk the bill." —Criminal Justice Chairman Joe Lopinto

“The Common Core compromise started with a unicorn and then a crawfish. So do we get a UniFish next?” —Rep. Darrell Ourso

“I have an objection to the amendment. My bill is perfect.” —Ways and Means Chairman Joel Robideaux  

"There won't be a hog with a tail on it from here to Nebraska." —Wildlife and Fisheries Secretary Robert Barham, opposing a bill to put a bounty on feral hog tails

From Issue 1,026 of LaPolitics Weekly, published May 14, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MAY 18, 2015

“They’re burning through capital outlay money like it was West Virginia ditch water.” —Treasurer John Kennedy, on the administration and Legislature, in The Advocate

"The sausage isn't finished yet. You have to be patient and give all the chefs a chance to work.” —Jindal spokeswoman Shannon Bates Dirmann, on the session, in The Picayune

“I would doubt you could find another place on the planet that celebrates a food product and a hydrocarbon in a single weekend.” —Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, on Morgan City’s Shrimp and Petroleum Festival, on Industry Day at the Capitol.

"I feel like I'm the last fella who married Elizabeth Taylor. I have no idea what I'm doing up here or how to keep it interesting." —Sen. Robert Adley, taking to the mic on Industry Day 

"Right now I'm your worst nightmare. I'm a term-limited senator. I can do any damn thing I want." —Adley

“JP clearly takes the language about ‘everybody getting a haircut’ literally.” —Sen. Dan Claitor, via Twitter, on a fresh-from-the-barber Sen. J.P. Morrell

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“Would you like to voluntarily defer this and work on it for a while?”  — Senate and Governmental Affairs Chairman Jody Amedee 

“I think I'd like to seal my fate today.” —Sen. Rick Gallot, before it was unanimously sealed

From Issue 1,025 of LaPolitics Weekly, published May 7, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!

MONDAY, MAY 11, 2015

“If you get us a little infrastructure money we’ll name an overpass after you.” —Sen. Ronnie Johns to outgoing Economic Development Secretary Stephen Moret

“We don’t even have baby.” —Sen. Dan Claitor, after a colleague remarked that a bill increasing transparency in the governor’s office would be like throwing the baby out with the bathwater

******

“I can filibuster.”  —Rep. Katrina Jackson

“Just don’t read ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’” —Rep. Lenar Whitney

******

“Is there going to be a test?” —Rep. Major Thibaut to Rep. Julie Stokes, while she was explaining a complex tax proposal

“Yes. You’ll have to vote on it.” —Stokes

“I feel like I’m losing y’all.” —Stokes“You lost them at hello.” —Ways and Means Chairman Joel Robideaux 

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“I congratulate Rep. Ritchie on making it through the combined reporting testimony without taking a cigarette break.” —Robideaux to Rep. Harold Ritchie, author of the cigarette tax increase bill

"Does that mean you just object to the entire meeting?” —Robideaux to LABI President Stephen Waguespack, who filled out a single opposition red card but left the bill number blank for an agenda filled with business tax increases 

“Those are real bullets in those guns.” —Waguespack, after being told that just because a bill makes it through Ways and Means doesn’t mean it will pass this session

From Issue 1,024 of LaPolitics Weekly, published April 30, 2015. Wish you would have read them then? Click here and subscribe!